We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Randomize
