Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
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