I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
I will be naked everywhere
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Randomize