She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
