RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
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