Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Randomize
