Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
