So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
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