Just mADE A PArabola og urine
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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