Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Randomize
