i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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