i don't like sucking hair
Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
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