What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
Randomize
