Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
