In the future we'll all be gay
2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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