yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Randomize
