your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
