I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
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