is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
Randomize
