The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
Randomize
