Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Randomize
