You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
