Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
Randomize