The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
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