ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Randomize