Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
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