But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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