Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Randomize
