I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
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