My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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