I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
