we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Randomize
