trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Randomize
