im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
