we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
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