her vagine was all disorganized.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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