You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
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