census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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