worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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