Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
