In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
