The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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