I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
a search helicopter?!
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
