just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
