Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Randomize
