The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
