I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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