I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
I just found puke in my bra..
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
