Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
