idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Randomize