imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
Did I show you my penis last night?
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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