Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
Randomize
