I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize