You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
should my penis look like a turkey
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
