wrigley field is MILF paradise
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
Who did Billy Mays play for?
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
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