I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize