i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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