awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
Randomize