We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
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