My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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