This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
