i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
