I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize
