By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
