Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Randomize
