you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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