did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
Randomize
